I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
he saved me from all my troubles.
Psalm 34:4-6
This is literally my story. These verses from the Psalm. This cry for help, and His answer.
It’s been a process. Starting mid-summer, days before my son’s wedding. I sensed God inviting me to surrender fear, and I prayed, and He answered, and it was over.
Weeks later I find myself battling again. Not fear this time. Something different. Overwhelming thoughts of condemnation. The accuser striking, again and again. I make a casual comment to my husband. “The battle is especially intense today. The accusing thoughts are noisy.” Kyle looks at me with a bit of puzzlement, and—
“Huh. I don’t think I ever have that.”
Seriously. What bliss.
And then. On a Sunday afternoon the floodgates open. I know exactly what’s happening. This is no stealth attack. Accusations coming quickly on the heals of happiest joy and I know the source. I’m ready.
I cry. I pray. Sitting lakeside at my patio table. One word,
“HELP!”
Taking thoughts captive. Full surrender. Knowing. It’s close.
This close—
Breakthrough.
For good measure I make this declaration to my sweet Holy Spirit:
I refuse to ever listen to condemnation again. If YOU want to speak conviction to my listening soul you will need to use a wholly different voice.
NO CONDEMNATION.
I pray and He answers. He saves me from ALL my troubles.
NO SHADOW OF SHAME.
I look back and I see the progression of this battle and it’s not at all what I would have expected. My hand in His and He does the fighting and we are taking ground.
Together.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2