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  • Sonya Leigh Anderson



We’d been talking about the boys’ strengths. They’d recently taken a version of StrengthsFinder, and I’d met with the guidance counselor at school. These tests fascinate me. How they can peg a person like that — and these did. Competition, Relational, Dependable. That’s Nils to a T. Future Thinker, Discoverer, Confidence. Felipe, through and through.

Kyle decided he should take it, too. He was the only one, other than Jimmy, who had never discovered his strengths. So later that day he did just that. And now we know.

As it turns out, I had him wrong. I figured he’d be Competition, like Nils and Grant. Strategic and Analytical. But no. None of these. His list was not what I expected at all. Adaptability, Belief, Connectedness, Consistency, Harmony. And this explains so much.

All these years, we thought I was the one who was the peacemaker, the one avoiding conflict. And it’s true. But now I see more clearly, how the harmony in our home flows to overflowing from him, my harmony husband.

And it does make sense. Especially now. These past eleven months of him stressing, his anxiety building, when the peace of our home has been shaken.

From the beginning, my Shalom Story started with a question – Can I sacrifice the peace of my home? And God gave me the answer through a new definition. It’s not peace the way we think of peace, but the peace of Shalom. Nothing missing. Nothing broken.

I was right to be worried. Our peace has been rattled and then some. Cultures clashing, and emotions raging. A collision of values and a test of beliefs. And all this time my husband in turmoil, not knowing why. But the answer is there in his list of strengths. His harmony is out of whack.

Sometimes it helps just knowing. Seeing the truth – It’s not that you’re crazy. Just craving.

This week is PEACE. Our advent word for the second candle. Sweet, sweet peace.

We started again today by praying. For peace. Kyle and I on behalf of our family. And I read from Isaiah, the prayer of our hearts:

The fruit of righteousness will be our peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places. In secure homes. In undisturbed places of rest.

Isaiah 32:17-18

Amen and amen. Come, Lord Jesus. Come this Christmas.

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