I woke up feeling stressed for my people, and as the morning has unfolded it has only gotten worse. I hoped to complete a blog post. Three files tucked away in “2 B Continued.” One about JOY and a prophetic word prayed over me a few weeks back. Another about NEIGHBORS, and how much I love them. Finally, a rather poetic piece about our cultural moment and all its mystery and how desperately we grasp at KNOWING.
But no.
No. I skim each unfinished post, and none are where my head is now, and I know it would be futile to force the issue. I am too keyed up. Too adrenaline jazzed. And so instead, I decide to rewind today’s script. And hopefully I can do a bit of unwinding while I’m at it.
I make a decision. Rewind to the first hour of my day, to reading Scripture and Spirit’s counsel. The hour I spent first thing this morning, laying down burdens, and receiving His peace.
I’m going back, and I invite you join me. Because maybe this is where you need to be, too. Hour of prayer. Quiet of morning. Bible open…
I begin by acknowledging worry. Acknowledging the ache in the pit of my stomach. Nauseous fear. I start here.
I remember being awake on and off last night, asking God to give me a vision. For my people. I actually told Him, there in the dark… “Show ME what you want THEM to do, and I’ll pass along the message.” lol.
Is God laughing, too?
I start by acknowledging, because He already knows.
Acknowledge
Confess
Thanks
Supplication
I’m not really one for acronym prayers, but this morning He leads me in this general direction. Of course, the author of this acronym formula meant for me to acknowledge God as Sovereign—and instead I’m acknowledging the fear in the pit of my stomach. But it seems to work.
I acknowledge… and then I confess my wavering faith. Me… the teacher who frequently tells others… “God is good and we can trust Him.” And I do. I DO! But today I am more like that Daddy in the gospel story: “I do believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)
This is my confession.
And then… without formula… Spirit’s leading… I move from confession to THANKS.
I remember something. A question and a comment from this week’s Bible study.
“What are you thankful for today? What we’re thankful for tells us a lot about what we value.”
My heart is racing, but I know THANKS is a weapon, and I need to wield it.
I thank God again for my people. My family. (What we’re thankful for tells us a lot about what we value.) So be it. I thank Him.
I thank Him for Fall, a gorgeous forecast. Coffee. Neighbors. The gals I’ll meet for study tonight.
And then, because I know I should, I thank Him (albeit halfhearted) for Trials. For all of these trials, and I choose to believe. I know you are faithful. Thank you for being faithful.
Supplication…
(Although not once in all my years of praying have I ever really used that word, supplication.) But I ASK and I ASK and I ASK!
The Bible study is from Ephesians. The one I’ll co-lead tonight, questions fresh in my mind.
Ephesians 1:15-19—
This is why, since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I never stop giving thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so that you may know what is the hope of his calling, what is the wealth of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the mighty working of his strength.
Question: In what ways is Paul’s prayer similar to your prayers? In what ways is it different?
Oh good grief.
I am back to acknowledging. Back to confession. Back to giving thanks. Because here is what I know that I know that I know…
My people do know Jesus. Hard stop.
And for all this earthly mom’s worry and concern, my people have a HEAVENLY FATHER WHO CARES!!
HE CARES.
I KNOW HE CARES.
What in the world have I been praying for my people?
What have I been praying for me??
Oh God. This wisdom. This revelation. Your SPIRIT. Hearts enlightened. Hope of calling.
Wait—
Hope of calling???
What is this if not holy vision? Spirit Vision. Yes and amen!
Eyes open. Glorious inheritance. Immeasurable greatness.
POWER AND STRENGTH.
Provision. Provision. Provision.
Rewind and Unwind.
I believe!!
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