Two weeks or so after our return home from Colombia, Kyle had an interesting experience. He was awake during the night praying, which isn’t unusual for him. He doesn’t always sleep well, and often he uses his wakefulness to talk to God. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night (Psalm 63:6). Occasionally Kyle uses his night watches to walk the neighborhood while praying, which make me just a little nervous. I wonder if he’ll be mistaken for a crazy man stalking the streets at night.
This particular evening my husband's sleeplessness was due in part to the stress all of us were feeling given our life changes, and Kyle had a question for God. Why did you have us do it? It was a fair question. And God answered. Into Kyle’s thoughts came two clear words. They asked. It was not the answer he was expecting.
The next morning Kyle shared his experience with me, and we pondered it together. Those two words flipped our perspective.
What did they ask? I’ve been thinking about it since. Of course, it could be the obvious. They asked for a family. They asked for a home. But I wonder.
The day the guys left for Florida I had lunch with Luke. We talked about our family, and the changes. I told Luke about Dad’s prayer, and I shared a thought. I think they asked for a dad.
The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced it might be true. My hunch is not meant to underestimate the rest of us. A mom, and a family. Of course, they need that, too. But I’ve been watching these boys for several weeks now, and I can say it without envy. The best gift God has given these boys is a dad.
I’ve been saying it for years. Of all the things my husband does well, he does being a dad best. It is his thing. And he’s awesome at it. I used to be annoyed when my own mom would brag on Kyle, saying how great he was. And I’d think – I’ve made a few contributions to this parenting thing, too, you know. What about me?
But just lately I’m willing to concede. This boy mom would be sunk without the boy dad. The boys would be sunk, too. We all need our Dad.
While the boys have been in Florida I’ve been going through pictures from Colombia, assembling scrapbook and frames. And I’m struck again by the caring community our boys left behind, and all of the women who loved them. These boys were mothered well.
And don’t get me wrong. I am committed to the core of my being to being a good mom. I will love these boys for life.
But as I think about my husband, sitting at the table doing math with a son who could do it alone, I feel certain I’m right in my assessment. They needed a dad. And God said, okay. The best of the best. He’s yours. Because you asked.