A lot has happened in three years. I was just thinking about this today. Three years ago, in the fall, I was pursuing a life goal. I was a seminary student at Bethel. Finally. Well over twenty years since college graduation, and a dozen or so years of holding out hope for a Sem degree. And finally, here I was. Back on the old campus. Walking down Sem Road past the little white chapel. My own son’s dorm just up the hill, and him a college sophomore. Me, forty-something and full of anticipation. A student, again.
Fast forward, a year-and-a-half. Halfway through, and I was rockin it. A bit arrogant, I’ll admit. One of the only women in a cohort of young men, making the grades even for the toughest profs. I was doing it. I’m going to finish this thing.
And then, just before the semester break. December. Everything changed.
We met two boys from Colombia. Prayed a lot. Put seminary dreams on hold. Said yes to an unexpected dream, instead. And nothing has been the same since.
The question came up often during those years I was in school. What do you hope to accomplish? What’s your vision, post-sem? And I’d talk about how I was working at church. A teaching background, and teaching gifts. And I don’t know, really. I was here to find out.
But then – I left before I could.
Except. It’s crazy to look back from this angle. Because every day since I walked away, life’s been unfolding, and something’s been happening. And somehow my calling seems closer now than I ever thought it would be.
I said it out loud earlier this week. To a friend over coffee. Repeated it to Kyle, and then wrote it down. I love what I’m doing. Right now.
A few weeks after leaving the seminary, a month or so after saying yes to two boys, a new door opened. A new job, still at church, but uncharted ministry, a fresh opportunity, and it seemed like a good fit.
Good enough. That’s what I thought at first. Good enough use of gifts and experience. Good flexibility for a year of adoption. Good enough for now. But now, a year later, and I’m beginning to wonder. Maybe this plan was God’s all along. And maybe his good is better than enough.
It’s crazy, how many things I’m doing that I love. Creating. Writing. Teaching. Recommending books (and just how cool is that?) Getting to know families. Making new friends. And I couldn’t have come up with this job description myself. Only God.
This blog started a year ago, too. Inspired by ministry and my own family story, and this, from the beginning, has felt like God’s smile.
See. What I had. For you.
I thought I’d find it at school, but I didn’t. And even if I’d stayed to the end, I don’t think this is where I’d have landed. This is God’s genius. A journey, unfolding. The delightful surprise of His generous grace.
The pastor I work with has a saying. Let’s wait and see how this unfolds. Maybe he knew, better than I, months ago when I was still searching. How God unfolds his plan. And how it’s always better than good enough.