Beauty

Our friend Andi said something a while back that I’ve been chewing on ever since. She said she doesn’t believe in beauty. She doesn’t think it’s really a thing. And I know what she’s saying. Andi of all people knows what it is to be hurt by those who define what’s beautiful and what is not. And so she keeps her distance and says she’d rather not.

But not me. Me – I’m constantly craving this piece of something – and what is it? It’s deep in me. So deep I’m sure it’s got to be real and – can I say this? Holy. It’s a holy thing. Beauty.

I’ve asked myself this question a hundred times since Andi’s comment. What is beautiful? Who decides?

I start my morning with window cracked to birdsong and breeze and a sky lit pink. And my soul sings its beauty. How does it know?

My boys play music haunting and sweet and it’s there again. That joy and longing and this has to be something. Deep and real.

Words spoken or written or portrayed on a screen. I’m always searching for this illusive something – not ordinary or predictable – but somehow special and there’s no other way to say it. It’s beauty I’m seeking.

I attend a conference and the seminary teacher says something so profound I’m moved to tears. Not polite tears quickly hidden, but a deluge that last for an hour while I sit in that prayer garden praying and praising, soaked in the joy. So much beauty I hardly know what to do with it all.

I am made for beauty. I’m sure of it now. The author I’ve been reading, whose words quicken my soul, he says it like this. If your sight is clear you will see light, beauty and wonder all around you. Yes, it’s true. It’s true! Beauty is real. If we could just see it.

Of course it can be distorted. Isn’t that true about every good thing the Father created? We can so easily ruin it. And do. Curse that curse that darkened what God meant to draw us to Him. HE IS BEAUTY. Yes, HIM. Is it possible? It’s HIM in that sunrise. HIM in the music. HIM in my childlike wonder and unbridled delight. If my sight is clear He’s revealing His beauty in a million glimpses. Do I see it?

Felipe’s artwork hangs above the piano. He said it himself. This is my heart. This boy who struggles to say it in words, but whose heart overflows on the canvas. The first time he shows me I’m standing there speechless. How did you do it? Thank you for sharing this beauty with me.

Tomorrow we pack our bags and hit the road for a spring break trip. Heading south as far as we can possibly go without leaving the country. I grumbled the first time I did that math. More days on the journey than the destination. But then God whispered. Open your eyes and enjoy the beauty. Point taken. I get it. The journey’s the vacation, and I’m all in.

My eyes are open like they haven’t been in a very long time. Seeing His Kingdom through the eyes of the Spirit. Eternal Beauty and it’s pointing to HIM.