God of Surprises!

The first time I prayed the psalm I was hiding in a bathroom stall in the basement of a Methodist church. Something was not right in my spirit. And maybe something was a bit off kilter in that church as well. What I remember most is tears dripping ugly off my nose as I silently uttered my poetic lament: 

Oh God, you are my God,    

earnestly I seek you;

My soul thirsts for you,    

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land    

where there is no water…

For most of my adult life I’ve made a practice of memorizing Scripture, but only a handful of passages remain fully accessible in the depths of my being. And for some reason the first eight verses of Psalm 63 are rooted deepest. 

I have seen you in the sanctuary    

and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,    

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,    

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;    

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

On my bed I remember you;    

I think of you through the watches of the night.

Because you are my help,    

I sing in the shadow of your wings.

My soul clings to you;    

your right hand upholds me.

Sometimes I imagine myself gray haired and hunched over, this text still clinging while the rest of my memory fades. 

My preferred translation of this particular poem hardly exists anymore, except in the pages of my very first study Bible, now gracing a library shelf. I memorized the original NIV. Its update just doesn’t do it justice. 

My soul thirsts… 

My soul will be satisfied… 

My soul clings… 

Like the cadence of my own life story. 

Last weekend I had a wild experience, connected to my favorite psalm. It was Sunday morning, and I woke earlier than usual, with a vulnerable ache in my spirit.

Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you…

I prayed it twice, all eight verses, and later at church it lingered. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory… immersed in corporate singing. And then, a gal leading worship paused for a Scripture bridge. “I’d like to read from Psalm sixty_"

My heart leapt and I thought, “She’s going to read it!” 

But no, it was Psalm 65 instead. 

I inwardly chuckled, checking my expectations.  

We sang a bit longer. And then it was Sarah, giving the announcements. She’s our kids pastor and later she told me she normally avoids the stage, and almost didn’t do it. Yet something urged her on, and urged her also to read from this psalm…

O God of my life, I’m lovesick for you in this weary wilderness.

I thirst with the deepest longings to love you more,

with cravings in my heart that can’t be described.

Such yearning grips my soul for you, my God!*

The translation was unfamiliar. But there was no mistaking the text. In disbelief I listened and I wondered and I wept a bit. Oh God, you are my God…

Sarah finished, passing the mic to Pastor Brickey. And days later I’m still trying to wrap my mind and my tender heart around this thing that happened. So improbable. So incredibly personal. So utterly God. 

Pastor Dave had also been planning to open with a psalm. “Sarah beat me to it. But I’d like to read it again, in a familiar translation…”

Are you kidding? What are the chances?? Oh God, you make my soul LAUGH! 

*The Passion Translation