Gifts of Introversion

Last weekend I had the privilege of being a workshop speaker for the Called Conference at my alma mater, Bethel University. My topic this year was a little bit risky, something I would never have thought to do without the Spirit’s leading. Here’s a sample…

The Timely Gifts of Introversion: Bringing the Quiet Joy of Jesus’ Kingdom to a Noisy and Anxious World 

I am what the experts call a “social introvert.” I identify with all the characteristics of introversion, and I also truly value relationships, and time with my people. It’s often assumed that introversion has to do with social engagement. That shy people are introverts and relational people are extroverts. This is not actually true. The real distinction has to do with how the two groups process stimulation.

In recent decades, introversion has been the subject of a lot of brain science, and the findings are truly astonishing. It turns out, there are measurable and dramatic differences between the brains of extroverts and introverts. Holley Gerth, in her book, The Powerful Purpose of Introverts writes: 

It’s how you respond to external stimulation that makes you an introvert or extrovert. Your neurotransmitters, nervous system, and brain pathways all help determine where you land on the introvert/extrovert continuum. 

Gerth goes on to describe how our brain pathways work differently. An introvert’s primary pathway is longer, more complex, and internally focused. An extrovert’s primary pathway is shorter, more straightforward, and externally focused.

I believe God designed introverts on purpose for a purpose. Introversion is not a character flaw, or an obstacle to overcome. It is a God-designed way of being that is good and full of blessing. Even though the terms introvert and extrovert are not found in the Bible, it would seem our Creator was quite intentional in wiring our brains for unique purposes. 

Adam McHugh, in his book Introverts in the Church says: 

Theologically speaking, we can say that we are created as introverts. When our Creator knit us together, he shaped our brains in such a way that we would find satisfaction in reflection and comfort in a slower, calmer way of life. 

McHugh continues: 

Our slower pace of life, our thoughtfulness, our spiritual and intellectual depth, and our listening abilities are prophetic qualities for the Christian community.

This, I believe, is one of the most beautiful gifts of the introverted follower of Jesus. God has wired our actual brains to be especially good at being quiet, and listening.

One of the most repeated phrases in the New Testament is: 

Let anyone who has ears to hear listen.

John’s gospel includes a parable in which Jesus describes himself as a shepherd, and his followers as sheep. Jesus calls his sheep by name and he leads them. They know his voice and they listen to him. They don’t even recognize the voice of a stranger, but they’ll follow Jesus anywhere. How? By knowing his voice, and listening.

I believe that as introverts this could be our moment. God may have created us for such a time as this. Here and now, in this moment in history, with all of its distractions, busyness, and noise. God is speaking to his people, and he’s looking for those who have ears to hear what he has to say. 

As introverts our gift of listening extends beyond our relationship with God, to our relationships with people. I am in my sixth decade of life, getting dangerously close to my seventh. And it has only been more recently that I’ve really been able to appreciate the more “introverted” gifts that God has entrusted to me. Honestly, for the first three decades of my life I wasn’t even aware I was an introvert. And I studied psychology in college! Yikes. But in recent years, God has been rather obviously leading me in a different direction, toward my actual gifting.

The introvert’s strengths of compassion, insight, and listening can make them safe friends, who invite others to process doubts, pain, fear, and complexity. We’re not afraid of silence, not in a hurry to jump to conclusions, and it’s more natural for us to give space for grappling and exploring. My favorite way to spend time with people is in one-on-one relationships. Give me deep conversation over a cup of coffee and I’m a happy camper. This can be with an old friend or even someone I’m just getting to know. The main thing is that the connection is meaningful. 

There’s a phrase often used in therapy—“non anxious presence.” It originated with Edwin Friedman, and refers to an individual who is able to stay calm (inside and out) in a chaotic or high-stress environment. They offer the gift of being fully present to the people around them, without absorbing the anxiety of others. 

Jesus (in Matthew 11:29) described himself as “gentle and humble of heart.” When I picture Jesus I imagine him with a look of tenderness, kindness in his eyes—a joyful, peaceful way of being present. We can follow Jesus’ example by being people of peaceful presence even when the world around us is going crazy.

If you identify as an introvert in the kingdom of Jesus, please know this… God has intentionally wired your actual brain for his good purposes. To think deeply. To sit in silence. To be a calm and compassionate presence. To listen. To hear his voice and trust his leading.

We live in anxious, chaotic, noisy times. Perhaps God created the introverts in his big family for such a time as this.

Do you hear his invitation?